Chapter One
This couldn’t happen. It had to be a joke. Three years of devoting oneself to someone had to mean something, had to hold some significance. One didn’t just throw away what they had. One couldn’t, it seemed impossible and yet somehow, he had. Somehow he had managed to forget all about what they had shared and had thrown it down into the rank gutter right outside her house. She had given him her heart in hopes that he would have kept it in a glass case safe and sound. Well he had, but he obviously had dropped the damn thing.
The air seemed to become heavy with something. With what, she really couldn’t put her finger on. It just seemed hard to suck it into her lungs so she could breathe. When had breathing become such a chore? The room was spinning. She didn’t know when that had started ether. She just stood there, shocked, confused, angry, desperate, jealous, and cold. There were so many adjectives for how she felt in that one moment it would be hard to list them all. All she could do was stand there in numb shock as she watched. His dirty oil stained hands pushing up the other girl’s pink pressed polo top. His lush pink tongue that had once explored her own body was now discovering the curves of another. His bleached hair which was usually slicked back now in a curled mess.
And she stood there, watching in disgusted attraction as they pleasured each other without even noticing that she stood in the room. Finally she blinked her eyes after a few moments, opening them only to see that the scenery had not changed, that they were still there on the couch, touching. Then she cracked. She didn’t even know where exactly she was going but soon she was moving into the kitchen and grabbing a knife. Not to hurt them, oh no, that was never her intent. Because soon she was stomping her way up the stairs and slamming her bathroom door shut.
“What the fuck?” his voice yelled. She could hear him rushing around downstairs, discovering her backpack and cursing yet again as he began to clomp his way up the stairs. She took no notice to the sound of her bedroom door opening nor the pounding that had begun on the bathroom door. She moved in a haze, pulling some toilette paper from its roll and walking back to the sink. She sat herself down on the counter, letting her tears slip down her cheeks unnoticed. “Gwen! Gwen open up! I know you’re in there, open up!” The words fizzed and faded in the background.
She held her arm out over the sink, watching as the cold, harsh metal slid over the dry pale skin of her inner arm. A small sting, not much, but enough to make her bite her lip. She watched as a small trickle of red liquid ran down her arm, staining her pale skin before pooling into the white porcelain sink. “Sara, get the damn screwdriver!” Her father had come home. When did he? She hadn’t heard his car come in the drive way or the front door open.
Her head was dizzy again, a whirling vortex while she bled out into the sink. She watched the dark blood drip from her arm, wondering what her mother was doing. Was she watching Gwen, as she bled, up in heaven? Or did she not see a thing and only laid a rotting corpse in the ground. Gwen wasn’t sure if she believed in God or not.
The doorknob was jiggling, coming loose. Didn’t they understand she wanted to be alone? Didn’t they understand she wanted to join her mother in the ground?
“I got it.” The doorknob fell to the floor and the white washed wooden door swung open, revealing her father and the two causes of her cutting faze. She didn’t see them though. She was tired, heavy, dizzy. She let her eyelids fall shut causing her father to call out. “No Gwen, you have to stay awake!” She could hear his warm voice, could feel the toilette paper pressed against her cut. “Why did you do this? Why do you keep doing this?” he whispered, his voice pained. She couldn’t bring herself to care. She was too lost inside her mind, wondering if she would see her mother tonight or not. Wondering what happened after you closed your eyes for the last time.
She was moving now, floating on air and soon felt herself land on soft cool sheets. She sighed, wondering whether or not she should open her eyes. No, let her sleep it off. Let her get some rest. She doesn’t want to think about what she saw. She doesn’t want to think about the pain it would cause or how it would leave her feeling bared and naked. John murmured something, his voice cracked. Gwen didn’t pay attention. She let herself fall to sleep.
* * *
Grungy, bright, hot pink hair splayed across the pillow as the sun filtered through the thick closed curtains. The cut that marred her pale arm was now bandaged and hidden from view. The sheets now felt warm against her hot skin. The air was heavy but not like last time. She could still pull in slow, relaxing breaths as she slept soundlessly. The house was quiet with small clatters of plates, as if someone was cooking, downstairs. The smell of eggs had wandered up to her room, rousing her from her peaceful slumber. Taking her away from a dream where everything had been perfect and her perfect boyfriend hadn’t cheated on her with her younger sister.
Unfortunately, that was the first thought that came to mind when she awoke, causing her to break down crying into her pillow. It wasn’t the type of crying where she screamed and wailed. It was more silent with small whimpers and sniffles emitting from her every few seconds. Finally, the tears dried on her cheeks, making them feel hard and crusty. Her whimpers died down and her breathing returned to normal. She glanced at her alarm clock. It blinked seven at her with its neon light. It was Wednesday during the summer. June. She had only finished her junior year last week.
She sat up, wiping at her cheeks to rid the feeling of hard dried tears. She couldn’t go downstairs and face them. Not after what had happened. She sighed, looking at her bandaged arm before she threw the thin covers off of her. She walked over to her dresser and quickly pulled on a pair of baggy, long shorts and a black Hurley shirt. She then pulled on her socks and put on her running shoes before tying her pink hair back into a ponytail. Her bangs fell into her eyes and she pushed them away. It didn’t do anything as the pink bangs fell back into her face. She regretted getting them cut and wished they would grow faster.
She pulled open her curtains, letting the sunlight flood her room as she opened her window and climbed out onto the porch roof. Good thing the kitchen was in the back of the house and her room was in the front. She closed her window and climbed down the pillar, trying to be as quiet as she could. When she touched the ground, she padded her pockets, feeling her keys and her wallet.
Gwen cast a glance at her car, seeing the old Saturn station wagon shine bright red in the sunlight. She shook her head, taking one look at her front door before she began to run down the street and away.
The gravel was slick, wet from rain that had fallen earlier that morning. She could feel it firm and strong underneath her feet. She could feel the cool wind rushing on her, blowing her bangs even more into her eyes. She growled, pushing them out of the way and smiled when the wind held them there. Sweat trickled down the nape of her neck and between her shoulder blades. Her feet kicked up rocks and water, causing the back of her calves to become wet and dirty. She squinted her brown eyes at the oncoming sun as she ran down the empty street.
She wondered why life couldn’t be more like running. With running, you didn’t have to worry if the road would deceive you or if it would take you where you didn’t want to go. You controlled it. You controlled the speed at which you ran, which path you took, which stops you made. The road in front of her was open and bare, making it just as naked as she felt. Then again, she was like the road. Beaten, battered, bare, and worn. Open and honest, holding nothing but the truth of what was.
She turned down another road, running towards the old wood and onto the old dirt path that was almost overgrown with plants. Dead leaves and sticks scattered the small trail giving her every chance of falling but the trees provided shade and shelter from things she wanted to hide from
Like her sister Sara. Sara was three years younger than both herself and her boyfriend, John. She was only fourteen though she looked as if she was sixteen. Gwen herself had been told that she looked like she was only fourteen at times. She had always looked younger than her actual age, a fact she sometimes hated. John looked his age, seventeen, though some called him a Billy Idol wanna-be, much like that character Spike on Buffy the Vampire Slayer which she used to watch when she was younger, along with other sitcoms like 7th Heaven and Friends.
Gwen had known that Sara had a thing for John, especially when they had first started going out back in ninth grade. But John had quickly told Sara that she was much too young for him, too young to be even dating. Of course, at the time, she had been in sixth grade and he in ninth. But now, it didn’t really even matter to him. She wondered if Sara did it purposefully, knowing that Gwen loved John as much as she did. Or maybe she had just gotten swept up in the moment. That still didn’t excuse her for what happened though.
Who came onto whom, she wondered. Had it been Sara, who had been flirting with John since she had met him or had John been the one to instigate it? Did Sara even stop to think about what could happen if Gwen had walked in on them and found them? Did she even care? It hadn’t seemed like it.
Gwen sighed and looked around at where she was. The path was smaller now, barely visible with the multiple plants growing in. She stopped and looked around her. Nothing looked at all familiar. The trees were taller, thicker now and barely any sunlight shown through patches in the leaves. Flowers bloomed all over and a stream trickled on near by. She had never come this far into the wood before.
She wondered what time it was, wishing she had put on her watch before she had left. It had to have been over an hour and her stomach was growling from not eating breakfast.
She sighed, walking over to the small sandy patch where the wood stopped for a small bit and the stream began. She sat down and took off her shoes and socks, rubbing her sore red feet before dipping them into the warm water of the creek. A Jesus bug, the type with the long legs, skittered across the stream, never sinking but not floating at all.
“I wish I could walk on water, that would be pretty cool because then I could run across the ocean. I could run to England and not worry about falling in and drowning,” Gwen stated, a small smile upon her lips. She knew she sounded like a child but she didn’t really care. “I could really run away from here.” A bitter laugh escaped her lips and she shook her head. That was never going to happen. At least not for her. Not in this lifetime.
She stretched out her arms and legs much like a cat before she lay back on the sandy bank and stared up at the clear strip of sky overheard. She watched as small wisps of cloud ran by and listened to the birds and small noises around her. The sand beneath her skin was course but she didn’t mind. It didn’t really matter anymore. Did anything? The sky began to darken and that crisp fresh smelling scent that comes right before a rain storm danced across her nose. She sat up with a frown and began to put back on her shoes and socks, ignoring how wet her feet were or how small speckles of sand stuck to her soles as she put them on. She stood up, brushing the sand off her body and shaking it out of her hair. “Guess it’s time to face them,” she mumbled to herself before she started off in a trot towards where she had come from.
As Gwen ran, she noticed more and more how unfamiliar the wood looked and how the thunderstorm seemed to be growing before it actually began to pour down rain. She cursed herself for being in a daze while she was running and for even going out running in the first place. Then she cursed John and Sara for causing it.
She felt the first drop of rain hit her arm, causing her eyes to widen and her heart of pump faster. “No! No, not good, not good, not good,” she chanted as it began to pour down heavily on her, soaking her clothes through. They now stuck to her like a second skin, making it harder to run. Her bangs were matted to her forehead, rains drops running into her eyes causing her vision to blur. She grunted in frustration, slicking her bangs back on top of her head and smiling triumphantly when they stayed put.
A tree root was raised out of the ground, covered by plants and hiding it from view. Gwen’s foot got caught and she soon found herself crashing to the ground, skinning her knee on a rock that poked out from the wet dirt. She grunted in pain, sitting down and pulling her knee up to her, watching as the rain washed away the small amount of blood that had begun to seep through the scratch. “Does the world hate me?” Gwen yelled out in anger. A self-pity party seemed appropriate to her after all that she had been through. “I haven’t done anything to deserve this! Nothing this horrible!” She looked up at the trees, glaring up at them as if God could see her through the thick leaves. “First you take away my mother, then you let my boyfriend cheat on me with my sister, and now you pour down rain on me? What the hell is wrong with you?” She yelled as she stood up to her feet.
Her vision began to blur yet again, but this time not because of the rain, but because of her own tears which now mingled with the rain on her cheeks. “I’ve done nothing! I’ve been good. I get good grades! I’m part of the drama club! I help out at the animal shelter, I donate money and clothes. I’m a model teen damn it! I go to church on Sundays and I visit my mother’s grave on her birthday and the day she died every year and sometimes even more! I never asked for anything in return and yet for some reason you still punish me!” She laughed bitterly, shaking her head as she looked down at her dirt covered shoes. “What the hell am I talking to you for? You probably don’t even exist.” She sighed, wiping at the tears that still trickled down her cheeks.
She then noticed her bandaged arm. The cloth was wet and stained red. She wondered if it had been stained red before she left the house or if the wound had reopened when she had tripped. It didn’t matter anyway. Nothing at all mattered. She glanced around, still not recognizing anything. The rain was still coming down hard and even though it had been in its high nineties when she left the house, it now felt like it was in its low sixties. Her legs were now covered in goose bumps and her hands shook as she hugged herself. She closed her eyes, wishing that something good for once would happen to her. Just for once, she wished that she could rest somewhere warm, with not one worry in the world. But wishes never came true. They were lost on no ones ears, floating away from you and drowning somewhere before they could be fulfilled.
She sighed, beginning her trek through the woods, hoping she’d be able to find her way out. Dirt rose from the ground where the rain pelted it, a light brown cloud that hung two feet over the ground. The rain pelted her harder than before but hid her tears from the world. She had been crying too much in two days, that was for sure. The last time she had cried for so long was when her mother had died. Maybe right now wasn’t a good time to think about her mother. It would only make her cry harder.
Water was now dripping from her ponytail, falling into her already soaked shirt and running down her back, causing her to shiver a little. She hugged herself, looking around for a place to wait out the storm. She wasn’t going to be escaping the woods anytime soon. She squinted her eyes, holding a hand over her brow to keep rain from pouring in her eyes and blocking her view. It didn’t help much at all, but it made her feel as if it was.
She walked off the path, finding a grand tree that was hallowed out at the base. She prayed that no animals were currently taking up residency in the tree as she began to climb into it. It was dark, so dark that she couldn’t see five inches in front of her face but at least she wasn’t being pelted with rain and was warm. It wasn’t cramped like she thought it would be but was spacious, enough so that she could stretch out her legs without going outside, but then again she hadn’t really found the back to the tree. It seemed darker near the back so she opted to sit near the opening.
She sighed, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath while she began to squeeze out the excess water out of her shirt. She did the same to her hair, pulling it out of its ponytail and shaking it. She giggled when she felt her hair hit her face and sprinkle water on her. It had been a long time since she had done such at thing. A small smile graced her lips at the last memory. Another small sigh came from her as she opened her eyes and looked at the opening. It was still raining and didn’t seem to be stopping anytime soon.
She lied back, pillowing her head against her arm as she curled up into the fetal position. It wouldn’t hurt to sleep a little bit. She was so tired of crying and so tired of thinking. She just wanted to rest. Resting never did anybody wrong. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath before she fell asleep, oblivious to the world around her.
End Sample.
This couldn’t happen. It had to be a joke. Three years of devoting oneself to someone had to mean something, had to hold some significance. One didn’t just throw away what they had. One couldn’t, it seemed impossible and yet somehow, he had. Somehow he had managed to forget all about what they had shared and had thrown it down into the rank gutter right outside her house. She had given him her heart in hopes that he would have kept it in a glass case safe and sound. Well he had, but he obviously had dropped the damn thing.
The air seemed to become heavy with something. With what, she really couldn’t put her finger on. It just seemed hard to suck it into her lungs so she could breathe. When had breathing become such a chore? The room was spinning. She didn’t know when that had started ether. She just stood there, shocked, confused, angry, desperate, jealous, and cold. There were so many adjectives for how she felt in that one moment it would be hard to list them all. All she could do was stand there in numb shock as she watched. His dirty oil stained hands pushing up the other girl’s pink pressed polo top. His lush pink tongue that had once explored her own body was now discovering the curves of another. His bleached hair which was usually slicked back now in a curled mess.
And she stood there, watching in disgusted attraction as they pleasured each other without even noticing that she stood in the room. Finally she blinked her eyes after a few moments, opening them only to see that the scenery had not changed, that they were still there on the couch, touching. Then she cracked. She didn’t even know where exactly she was going but soon she was moving into the kitchen and grabbing a knife. Not to hurt them, oh no, that was never her intent. Because soon she was stomping her way up the stairs and slamming her bathroom door shut.
“What the fuck?” his voice yelled. She could hear him rushing around downstairs, discovering her backpack and cursing yet again as he began to clomp his way up the stairs. She took no notice to the sound of her bedroom door opening nor the pounding that had begun on the bathroom door. She moved in a haze, pulling some toilette paper from its roll and walking back to the sink. She sat herself down on the counter, letting her tears slip down her cheeks unnoticed. “Gwen! Gwen open up! I know you’re in there, open up!” The words fizzed and faded in the background.
She held her arm out over the sink, watching as the cold, harsh metal slid over the dry pale skin of her inner arm. A small sting, not much, but enough to make her bite her lip. She watched as a small trickle of red liquid ran down her arm, staining her pale skin before pooling into the white porcelain sink. “Sara, get the damn screwdriver!” Her father had come home. When did he? She hadn’t heard his car come in the drive way or the front door open.
Her head was dizzy again, a whirling vortex while she bled out into the sink. She watched the dark blood drip from her arm, wondering what her mother was doing. Was she watching Gwen, as she bled, up in heaven? Or did she not see a thing and only laid a rotting corpse in the ground. Gwen wasn’t sure if she believed in God or not.
The doorknob was jiggling, coming loose. Didn’t they understand she wanted to be alone? Didn’t they understand she wanted to join her mother in the ground?
“I got it.” The doorknob fell to the floor and the white washed wooden door swung open, revealing her father and the two causes of her cutting faze. She didn’t see them though. She was tired, heavy, dizzy. She let her eyelids fall shut causing her father to call out. “No Gwen, you have to stay awake!” She could hear his warm voice, could feel the toilette paper pressed against her cut. “Why did you do this? Why do you keep doing this?” he whispered, his voice pained. She couldn’t bring herself to care. She was too lost inside her mind, wondering if she would see her mother tonight or not. Wondering what happened after you closed your eyes for the last time.
She was moving now, floating on air and soon felt herself land on soft cool sheets. She sighed, wondering whether or not she should open her eyes. No, let her sleep it off. Let her get some rest. She doesn’t want to think about what she saw. She doesn’t want to think about the pain it would cause or how it would leave her feeling bared and naked. John murmured something, his voice cracked. Gwen didn’t pay attention. She let herself fall to sleep.
Grungy, bright, hot pink hair splayed across the pillow as the sun filtered through the thick closed curtains. The cut that marred her pale arm was now bandaged and hidden from view. The sheets now felt warm against her hot skin. The air was heavy but not like last time. She could still pull in slow, relaxing breaths as she slept soundlessly. The house was quiet with small clatters of plates, as if someone was cooking, downstairs. The smell of eggs had wandered up to her room, rousing her from her peaceful slumber. Taking her away from a dream where everything had been perfect and her perfect boyfriend hadn’t cheated on her with her younger sister.
Unfortunately, that was the first thought that came to mind when she awoke, causing her to break down crying into her pillow. It wasn’t the type of crying where she screamed and wailed. It was more silent with small whimpers and sniffles emitting from her every few seconds. Finally, the tears dried on her cheeks, making them feel hard and crusty. Her whimpers died down and her breathing returned to normal. She glanced at her alarm clock. It blinked seven at her with its neon light. It was Wednesday during the summer. June. She had only finished her junior year last week.
She sat up, wiping at her cheeks to rid the feeling of hard dried tears. She couldn’t go downstairs and face them. Not after what had happened. She sighed, looking at her bandaged arm before she threw the thin covers off of her. She walked over to her dresser and quickly pulled on a pair of baggy, long shorts and a black Hurley shirt. She then pulled on her socks and put on her running shoes before tying her pink hair back into a ponytail. Her bangs fell into her eyes and she pushed them away. It didn’t do anything as the pink bangs fell back into her face. She regretted getting them cut and wished they would grow faster.
She pulled open her curtains, letting the sunlight flood her room as she opened her window and climbed out onto the porch roof. Good thing the kitchen was in the back of the house and her room was in the front. She closed her window and climbed down the pillar, trying to be as quiet as she could. When she touched the ground, she padded her pockets, feeling her keys and her wallet.
Gwen cast a glance at her car, seeing the old Saturn station wagon shine bright red in the sunlight. She shook her head, taking one look at her front door before she began to run down the street and away.
The gravel was slick, wet from rain that had fallen earlier that morning. She could feel it firm and strong underneath her feet. She could feel the cool wind rushing on her, blowing her bangs even more into her eyes. She growled, pushing them out of the way and smiled when the wind held them there. Sweat trickled down the nape of her neck and between her shoulder blades. Her feet kicked up rocks and water, causing the back of her calves to become wet and dirty. She squinted her brown eyes at the oncoming sun as she ran down the empty street.
She wondered why life couldn’t be more like running. With running, you didn’t have to worry if the road would deceive you or if it would take you where you didn’t want to go. You controlled it. You controlled the speed at which you ran, which path you took, which stops you made. The road in front of her was open and bare, making it just as naked as she felt. Then again, she was like the road. Beaten, battered, bare, and worn. Open and honest, holding nothing but the truth of what was.
She turned down another road, running towards the old wood and onto the old dirt path that was almost overgrown with plants. Dead leaves and sticks scattered the small trail giving her every chance of falling but the trees provided shade and shelter from things she wanted to hide from
Like her sister Sara. Sara was three years younger than both herself and her boyfriend, John. She was only fourteen though she looked as if she was sixteen. Gwen herself had been told that she looked like she was only fourteen at times. She had always looked younger than her actual age, a fact she sometimes hated. John looked his age, seventeen, though some called him a Billy Idol wanna-be, much like that character Spike on Buffy the Vampire Slayer which she used to watch when she was younger, along with other sitcoms like 7th Heaven and Friends.
Gwen had known that Sara had a thing for John, especially when they had first started going out back in ninth grade. But John had quickly told Sara that she was much too young for him, too young to be even dating. Of course, at the time, she had been in sixth grade and he in ninth. But now, it didn’t really even matter to him. She wondered if Sara did it purposefully, knowing that Gwen loved John as much as she did. Or maybe she had just gotten swept up in the moment. That still didn’t excuse her for what happened though.
Who came onto whom, she wondered. Had it been Sara, who had been flirting with John since she had met him or had John been the one to instigate it? Did Sara even stop to think about what could happen if Gwen had walked in on them and found them? Did she even care? It hadn’t seemed like it.
Gwen sighed and looked around at where she was. The path was smaller now, barely visible with the multiple plants growing in. She stopped and looked around her. Nothing looked at all familiar. The trees were taller, thicker now and barely any sunlight shown through patches in the leaves. Flowers bloomed all over and a stream trickled on near by. She had never come this far into the wood before.
She wondered what time it was, wishing she had put on her watch before she had left. It had to have been over an hour and her stomach was growling from not eating breakfast.
She sighed, walking over to the small sandy patch where the wood stopped for a small bit and the stream began. She sat down and took off her shoes and socks, rubbing her sore red feet before dipping them into the warm water of the creek. A Jesus bug, the type with the long legs, skittered across the stream, never sinking but not floating at all.
“I wish I could walk on water, that would be pretty cool because then I could run across the ocean. I could run to England and not worry about falling in and drowning,” Gwen stated, a small smile upon her lips. She knew she sounded like a child but she didn’t really care. “I could really run away from here.” A bitter laugh escaped her lips and she shook her head. That was never going to happen. At least not for her. Not in this lifetime.
She stretched out her arms and legs much like a cat before she lay back on the sandy bank and stared up at the clear strip of sky overheard. She watched as small wisps of cloud ran by and listened to the birds and small noises around her. The sand beneath her skin was course but she didn’t mind. It didn’t really matter anymore. Did anything? The sky began to darken and that crisp fresh smelling scent that comes right before a rain storm danced across her nose. She sat up with a frown and began to put back on her shoes and socks, ignoring how wet her feet were or how small speckles of sand stuck to her soles as she put them on. She stood up, brushing the sand off her body and shaking it out of her hair. “Guess it’s time to face them,” she mumbled to herself before she started off in a trot towards where she had come from.
As Gwen ran, she noticed more and more how unfamiliar the wood looked and how the thunderstorm seemed to be growing before it actually began to pour down rain. She cursed herself for being in a daze while she was running and for even going out running in the first place. Then she cursed John and Sara for causing it.
She felt the first drop of rain hit her arm, causing her eyes to widen and her heart of pump faster. “No! No, not good, not good, not good,” she chanted as it began to pour down heavily on her, soaking her clothes through. They now stuck to her like a second skin, making it harder to run. Her bangs were matted to her forehead, rains drops running into her eyes causing her vision to blur. She grunted in frustration, slicking her bangs back on top of her head and smiling triumphantly when they stayed put.
A tree root was raised out of the ground, covered by plants and hiding it from view. Gwen’s foot got caught and she soon found herself crashing to the ground, skinning her knee on a rock that poked out from the wet dirt. She grunted in pain, sitting down and pulling her knee up to her, watching as the rain washed away the small amount of blood that had begun to seep through the scratch. “Does the world hate me?” Gwen yelled out in anger. A self-pity party seemed appropriate to her after all that she had been through. “I haven’t done anything to deserve this! Nothing this horrible!” She looked up at the trees, glaring up at them as if God could see her through the thick leaves. “First you take away my mother, then you let my boyfriend cheat on me with my sister, and now you pour down rain on me? What the hell is wrong with you?” She yelled as she stood up to her feet.
Her vision began to blur yet again, but this time not because of the rain, but because of her own tears which now mingled with the rain on her cheeks. “I’ve done nothing! I’ve been good. I get good grades! I’m part of the drama club! I help out at the animal shelter, I donate money and clothes. I’m a model teen damn it! I go to church on Sundays and I visit my mother’s grave on her birthday and the day she died every year and sometimes even more! I never asked for anything in return and yet for some reason you still punish me!” She laughed bitterly, shaking her head as she looked down at her dirt covered shoes. “What the hell am I talking to you for? You probably don’t even exist.” She sighed, wiping at the tears that still trickled down her cheeks.
She then noticed her bandaged arm. The cloth was wet and stained red. She wondered if it had been stained red before she left the house or if the wound had reopened when she had tripped. It didn’t matter anyway. Nothing at all mattered. She glanced around, still not recognizing anything. The rain was still coming down hard and even though it had been in its high nineties when she left the house, it now felt like it was in its low sixties. Her legs were now covered in goose bumps and her hands shook as she hugged herself. She closed her eyes, wishing that something good for once would happen to her. Just for once, she wished that she could rest somewhere warm, with not one worry in the world. But wishes never came true. They were lost on no ones ears, floating away from you and drowning somewhere before they could be fulfilled.
She sighed, beginning her trek through the woods, hoping she’d be able to find her way out. Dirt rose from the ground where the rain pelted it, a light brown cloud that hung two feet over the ground. The rain pelted her harder than before but hid her tears from the world. She had been crying too much in two days, that was for sure. The last time she had cried for so long was when her mother had died. Maybe right now wasn’t a good time to think about her mother. It would only make her cry harder.
Water was now dripping from her ponytail, falling into her already soaked shirt and running down her back, causing her to shiver a little. She hugged herself, looking around for a place to wait out the storm. She wasn’t going to be escaping the woods anytime soon. She squinted her eyes, holding a hand over her brow to keep rain from pouring in her eyes and blocking her view. It didn’t help much at all, but it made her feel as if it was.
She walked off the path, finding a grand tree that was hallowed out at the base. She prayed that no animals were currently taking up residency in the tree as she began to climb into it. It was dark, so dark that she couldn’t see five inches in front of her face but at least she wasn’t being pelted with rain and was warm. It wasn’t cramped like she thought it would be but was spacious, enough so that she could stretch out her legs without going outside, but then again she hadn’t really found the back to the tree. It seemed darker near the back so she opted to sit near the opening.
She sighed, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath while she began to squeeze out the excess water out of her shirt. She did the same to her hair, pulling it out of its ponytail and shaking it. She giggled when she felt her hair hit her face and sprinkle water on her. It had been a long time since she had done such at thing. A small smile graced her lips at the last memory. Another small sigh came from her as she opened her eyes and looked at the opening. It was still raining and didn’t seem to be stopping anytime soon.
She lied back, pillowing her head against her arm as she curled up into the fetal position. It wouldn’t hurt to sleep a little bit. She was so tired of crying and so tired of thinking. She just wanted to rest. Resting never did anybody wrong. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath before she fell asleep, oblivious to the world around her.
End Sample.